If you are saying yes to something, what are you saying no to? Saying yes to something means that you have to let go of another.
Can you afford that?
You are a human with finite time, attention, and energy. There is only so much you can do, and what would you rather do?
So, if you are a people-focused person (you cannot say no to friends, colleagues, or clients, no matter how much you are focused on a priority task), you probably understand what I’m speaking about. You would probably make room for them even when that means sacrificing your working hours and not seeing tangible results despite putting in the hard work.
So, if you have faced a scenario like that, what can you do?
Here is a tip for you that will help you to stay focused and not deny the help next time when you’re faced with a request.
Pause and ask yourself, if I’m saying yes to this, what am I saying no to?
Do you have any flexible scheduling in your calendar that you could let go of to comply with this request?
If no, instead of saying no directly because you are uncomfortable with that, you would probably say that and then compromise your work.
Replace No with Not Now.
Here is an example: You are working on a difficult document, or you are doing laundry. A friend calls you, or a colleague walks over, asking, ‘Can you please go for coffee with me? I really need to go for coffee.’ Or they’re asking if they can get your feedback on an important document.
What do you do? Do you stop working on your document because you cannot say no and then help your colleague, or do you say no to your friend and go for coffee?
Try this: ‘I cannot go for coffee right now, not now, but how about we go together at lunch hour?’ Or ‘I cannot give you feedback right now. I really need to finish what I’m doing, but how about I look at your document tomorrow morning?’ Or ‘Are you free tomorrow afternoon?’
This way, you are focused on your current task, you are not compromising your attention at the time. Also, you are not denying help outright, only deciding when and how you can accommodate the request in your calendar at your convenience.
Success results from making lots of good choices, let’s choose wisely.